1. evilscientist:

    teacher: your homework will only have 4 problems!

    homework: 1a 1b 1c 1d 1e 2a 2b 2c 2d 2e 3a 3b 3c 3d 3e 4a 4b 4c 4d 4e

    (via bitchgetoutofmyfacedotcom)

  2. "When god became lonely
    he created man,
    Or was it
    When man became lonely
    he created god."

    Melanie Exler strengthenizer (via strengthenizer)

    (via belatalbqt)

  3. shaky:

    I’m stuck between wanting:

    1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love

    2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet

    3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career

    (via chaotic-keys)

  4. 2srooky:

    abunchofgrapes:

    2srooky:

    whyamisospooky:

    you’re such a b**** (bagel)

    image

    why is ewan mcgregor saying that in front of a waterfall

    Why not.

    (Source: wurnbo, via bitchgetoutofmyfacedotcom)

  5. mens-rights-activia:

    Benedict Cumberbatch is stopped yet again from illegally downloading movies, God bless

    (Source: crocroach, via enjoltaireoutmyheart)

  6. somedaysigetitright:

    kingofbastille:

    The amount of questions Bastille asks in their songs really stresses me out

    are you gonna age with grace? do you like the person you’ve become? can you fill the silence? how am i gonna be an optimist? how am i gonna get myself home?

    like idk dan you figure it out

    (Source: transposers, via oswinandargent)

  7. "I am a feminist. I’ve been female for a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side."

    Maya Angelou (via vaguelyhomicidal)

    (Source: robert-winchester-novak, via sherlock-is-sonic-in-enochian)

  8. mechinaries:

    iseeavoice:

    qalaba:

    iseeavoice:

    A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”

    best so far.

    image

    (via slownus)

    (Source: nishii, via brendonurieinmypants)

  9. dreamsoffools:

    Doodle I never quite managed to finish :(

    (via voncatensproch)

  10. callmeoutis:

    tin-pan-ali:

    The single most delightful implication of Dashcon is that now somebody is going to inevitably have to explain to a lawyer, probably several lawyers, and in turn, possibly an entire courtroom, what fandom is, what tumblr is, and all the ins and outs related to them.

    i would watch that episode of law and order

    (via loki-spaz-moments)

    ifunnyws:

    Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

    (via allalonewithmyportalgun)

  11. emocas:

    one of my favorite FOB encounter stories is the one where this girl was eating at a restaurant and she was wearing a FOB shirt and she felt someone looking at her so she looked out the glass window she was sitting by and Pete Wentz was on the other side of the glass just staring at her and grinning. 

    (via brendonurieinmypants)

  12. smilelikelightning:

    yourscientistfriend:

    textiles:

    I may have taught this spider to knit. 
    I was finishing the last 20 rows at the park, when this little spider wandered over to me, It climbed up my knitting bag, and walked all up and down the piece, then climbed onto my hand and watched me for a couple rows. 
    After the second row it started waving it’s front four legs as if to get my attention. Once I was looking at it, it started pulling silk from its spinneret, and fiddling with it. I don’t know if it was knitting or purling as it was quite small scale, but every few seconds it would stop and look up at me to see if I was still watching. After a little bit I moved it to one of the vines overhanging the archway I was sitting in, and it went about its business.
    This wasn’t the only unusual thing that happened at the park today, but it was the most unusual.

    Maybe it thought you were a spider

    I’m gonna level with you that’s the fucking cutest shit I have ever fucking heard of okay I want a little spider that knits not sits menacingly above my bed at night threatening to fall into my mouth.

    (via nevergonnablink)

  13. eridanandsollux:

    ackermom:

    reasons sims 4 will kill me before i even get it

    • parties with glowsticks raves???
    • you can move whole rooms and buildings!! 
    • multitasking!!
    • you can download new content without leaving the game??!?
    • sims with emotions?? real emotions!!
    • sims can be right or left handed??! why?? who cares??!
    • rocket ship??! cupcake factory??!! 
    • WOOHOO IS A SKILL
    • A U T O S A V E
    • YOUR SIMS CAN J A C K  O F F

    (via myotpisgay)